i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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