Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
