Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
So here I am, sexting at work.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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