Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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