Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
No more Irish car bombs ever.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Randomize
