that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
