Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
