so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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