singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Randomize
