I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Randomize
