He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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