brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
