it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
