i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Randomize
