You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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