Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
