therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
