Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize