i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Randomize
