Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
