We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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