I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
