I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
