She said her name was "party"
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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