She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
