Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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