I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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