I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
