he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
