hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
