i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Randomize
