Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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