I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
