first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
