she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
