Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
