lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
