have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
