people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
