My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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