I cockslap morals
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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