they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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