He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
