Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
