roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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