does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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