Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
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