Pregnant stripper...not hot.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
