and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
