sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
