I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I wish I only lived at night.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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