I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
