I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize