my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize