I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
home. puking in laundry basket.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
