i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Randomize
