So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Randomize
