Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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