i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I love you. Go after that dick
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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