Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
