My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
did i just pee glitter
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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