and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
